Variant Lost (The Evelyn Maynard Trilogy Book 1) Read online

  So why had he broken it?

  As if coming out of a fog, the details of our surroundings drifted back into focus, and movement to my right caught my attention. I immediately tensed up, assuming someone was in the room with us. Then the whole picture became clear, and shock and a hint of fear rushed down my spine.

  A book was floating in midair above the couch. And it wasn’t the only one. Books, records, CDs, clothes, and other various inanimate objects were floating all around the room. Even the heavy drapes were lifting off the ground, as if they were the softest sheer curtains caught in a breeze.

  I glanced back into Josh’s face, and his expression matched mine, his gaze trained behind me. We still held each other, frozen to the spot, both of us trying to process what we were seeing.

  Had I done this? Would my blood test come back positive? Was I somehow a Variant? Oh my Stephen Hawking! How was I supposed to make it stop? I had no idea how I’d even done it. What if all this crap came tumbling down and knocked us both out?

  Before I could descend into full-blown panic, Josh spoke distractedly. “Did I mention I’m a Variant?” He looked back at me, the shock on his face mixing with wonder. “Telekinetic ability.”

  His last word trailed off as his shell-shocked expression morphed into a wide, almost manic smile. He was looking at me like a kid who’d woken up on Christmas morning to find a puppy under the tree.

  A frown pulled at my brows. This was getting weird. The fact that Josh had such a unique power came as a surprise, and part of me wanted to ask a million questions, but his strange behavior was putting me off. Add to that the fear that I might die under a stampede of inanimate objects, and the whole situation was getting pretty overwhelming.

  He seemed to realize the oddity of it then, and a horrified expression melted the smile off his face.

  “Holy shit!” He dropped his arms and stepped away from me lightning fast. Immediately, all the crap floating eerily about the room thudded to the ground.

  I shrieked and covered my head with my hands while lifting one knee up and huddling against the bookshelf. Miraculously, nothing hit me. Not a single item even grazed me on its way down.

  “It’s OK. You’re safe.” There was a tinge of panic in his voice as his hand landed gently on my shoulder. “It could never hurt you . . . I would never . . . that is to say . . . it’s impossible for my ability . . . Shit!”

  As I straightened, he snapped his hand back.

  I finally found my voice. “What the hell is happening?”

  “How is this possible?” he was mumbling to himself. “I thought Kid . . .” He swallowed audibly and looked at me again, eyes wide, a mixture of incomprehensible emotions written all over his face. After a moment, he managed to pull a coldly neutral expression down over it all.

  “You need to leave.” He spoke evenly, but with hardness to his tone.

  “What? Why?” Was he somehow blaming me for this? And why did he mention Kid? I had maybe met the guy two times—it wasn’t as if we were dating. Josh and I had just shared an incredible kiss, and now he was throwing me out? Although he hadn’t said it in so many words, I was 60 percent sure Josh had enjoyed the kiss too. Right? Shit.

  “It’s complicated. I can’t really explain . . . Look, you just need to go before someone sees . . . Please.” His mask of calm was slipping, and a hint of frantic energy was coming through in his voice and posture. He raised a hand, palm upturned, and gestured toward the door.

  I hung my head, unable to look at him. Refusing to let him see me upset, I turned and forced myself to walk at a steady pace to the door, letting my features crumble into a pained expression now that he couldn’t see my face.

  Kid chose that moment to swing the door open, without knocking, two meters in front of me, sweeping aside all the debris that had fallen to the ground.

  “Dude! Where have you been? I can’t find . . .” His booming voice stopped midsentence when he saw my face, his brow creasing in confusion. Or maybe it was concern. I couldn’t be sure. My ability to read what people were feeling through simple body language was obviously on the fritz.

  “Hey, Eve.” His voice was much softer now. “You OK?” Then his eyes scanned the room, taking in the chaos. “Whoa! What the hell happened in here?”

  I was done. I was so done with this party and this house and these people. Maybe Zara had been right about avoiding them. Once again something wonderful was being ripped away from me.

  Anger settled in the pit of my stomach. That was good. I could use anger to propel me out of this room, out of this house, and away from this whole messed-up situation.

  “Whatever,” I ground out between gritted teeth, squaring my shoulders and pushing past Kid and out the door. To be fair, I didn’t push past Kid—no one could really push past Kid if he didn’t want them to—but he stepped out of my way as I pretended I was pushing past him, and for that one small concession, I was glad.

  I stormed down the corridor and flew down the two flights of stairs. At the bottom, I nearly barreled into the Reds, who were just coming around the corner.

  “Oh my, Eve, are you OK?” Beth had concern written all over her face.

  “Would everyone stop asking me that?” I snapped at her.

  Sweet, lovely Beth didn’t deserve that. I was being a jerk. As much of a jerk as Josh had been. The anger drained out of me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

  “That’s OK. What happened?” My rude outburst was already forgotten. That’s just the kind of person Beth was.

  “Nothing. I’m all right. Really.” I forced a smile in response to the skepticism on both their faces. “I’m just over this party. Going to head home. Can you tell Dot and Charlie goodbye for me?”

  I was already on the move again before I’d finished speaking.

  “Want us to go with you?” Zara asked.

  I was touched by their concern, but it only added to the emotional turmoil already whipping around inside of me. Tears pricked at my eyes as I kept going. “No, no. All good. You guys have fun. I’m fine. Promise!” I managed to make my voice sound even. Just.

  Despite the fact that I had shared some of my deeply personal history with them already, my instinct in my current emotional state was still to run away from the Reds. I wanted someone to comfort me. To help me make sense of what had just happened. But I hadn’t been that close to anyone since my mother died. Maybe I just didn’t know how to get close to someone. Maybe the distance my mother had devoted herself to establishing between us and the rest of the world was permanent.

  Maybe I would never have true friends that I could talk to. Maybe I would never have a boyfriend to share my life with. Maybe that’s what Josh had picked up on in his bedroom when he’d shut off from me—that it was impossible to get close to me. He was Variant, after all; maybe his superhuman senses allowed him to sense these things.

  The tears spilled over in earnest as I reached the end of the long driveway. Thankfully, there was no one around to see. At the gates, I broke into a run and I didn’t stop until I reached the front door of our residence hall.

  I was so focused on the pit of negative emotions writhing inside me I didn’t even register that the tingling, itching sensation had completely left my wrists.

  Nine

  I pulled my knee-length jacket tighter over my chest as I walked to class, regretting my decision to wear flats instead of boots. The warm weekend had given way to a chilly Monday morning. The sun was hidden behind fat clouds threatening to burst with rain.

  I had gone straight to bed after the party, welcoming the oblivion of sleep, and spent all of Sunday holed up in my room, reading and studying, trying to distract myself from the feelings of rejection and self-consciousness. When the Reds had invited me to lunch, I told them I just wanted to read. Later, Beth had come in on her own, brow creased with worry. I’d been so close to telling her the whole story, but I hadn’t wanted to relive it all, so I’d convinced her I was just tired, and she left me alone. />
  As I approached the building where my first lecture was due to start soon, I was hunching my shoulders against the cold, my gaze turned down.

  I didn’t see them until it was too late.

  “Eve.” Ethan’s booming voice was unmistakable.

  I looked up, my steps faltering. He was standing with Josh at the door to the building, students streaming past them. Ethan was in his usual white T-shirt and jeans, apparently not bothered by the cold at all, and Josh was back to his preppy, polished look, the collar of a neat shirt peeking out underneath a cashmere sweater.

  I did not want to see them. I was mostly over what had happened at the party on Saturday. Mostly. But I wanted nothing more to do with them. I was heeding the Reds’ warning about Kid and extending it to Josh.

  Squaring my shoulders and narrowing my eyes, I marched past them and into the building.

  “I need to speak to you,” Josh said from behind me. They were following me.

  “That’s funny,” I threw over my shoulder as I kept walking. “You had nothing to say to me on Saturday night. Couldn’t wait to get me out of your room, as I recall.” OK, so maybe I wasn’t as over it as I’d thought.

  “Yes, I was a jerk. Will you please stop so I can explain?” He was keeping his voice low. The corridor was teeming with people. I couldn’t decide if I was grateful no one would overhear us talking about my embarrassing encounter or if I was further insulted he didn’t want anyone to hear us speaking to each other.

  “Just leave me alone.” Frustration leaked into my voice as I sped up.

  “Where are you going?” Ethan chuckled.

  I stopped—I had no idea. I’d been so busy trying to get away from them that I hadn’t paid any attention to where I was going. Unfamiliar rooms lined up on either side of the unfamiliar hallway. We appeared to be at the back of the building somewhere, standing next to a narrow stairway.

  “Shit!” I turned around, figuring it was best to get this out of the way so I could get to class. “What do you want?”

  In perfect synchronicity, they each looked down an opposite length of hallway, checking for prying eyes. Their movements made me acutely aware there was no one else around in this part of the building. I was alone with two guys I didn’t really know, and not only were they bigger and stronger than me, they also had rare and dangerous Variant abilities.

  They stepped closer, and I retreated instinctively, my back pressing against the railing of the staircase.

  Josh leaned forward, his voice low. “Look, I just need to know if you told anyone about the . . . what happened at the party.”

  He wanted to make sure I would keep my mouth shut?

  “Oh my god!” My voice was much louder than his, echoing up the stairs behind me. “Do you have a girlfriend? You’re an even bigger asshole than I thought.”

  “Shh!” Ethan craned his neck around the corner.

  Josh’s lips pursed in annoyance. “What? No, I don’t have a girlfriend. That’s not what this is about.”

  “What then?” I refused to lower my voice, raising it a notch just to spite them. “You don’t want anyone to know that you got it on with the new girl, who’s here on scholarship and is probably a Dime? Don’t want to damage your reputation? You only date Variant bitches, is that it?”

  “Variant bitches! Hah!” Ethan laughed, trying hard to do it quietly and mostly failing. Ethan didn’t do anything quietly.

  Josh just looked even more irritated. “Would you please lower your voice?” he whisper-yelled at me, stepping even farther into my personal space. “This has nothing to do with any other girls or anything as petty as reputation. Look, I know you’re new here and you still don’t understand how the Variant world works, but if anyone knew what happened the other night, we could all be in danger. Including you.”

  His words sent a chill down my spine, making me acutely aware of how close he was to my vital organs. I swallowed audibly and looked away from his intense stare.

  “Are you threatening me?” I meant for it to sound outraged, as though I wouldn’t stand for this, but it came out sounding weak and quiet.

  Immediately Josh stepped away, and the amusement disappeared from Ethan’s face.

  “No! I am so sorry.” His green eyes looked sincere. “We didn’t mean to . . . I’m not trying to scare you.”

  He sighed and flopped down onto the stairs. “Maybe I should just—”

  “No,” Ethan cut him off midsentence. “It’s safer this way. You know it.” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned on the wall opposite the stairs.

  The path down the corridor was clear again, but I stayed put. Even though they’d been a little intense, they hadn’t actually threatened me—and they were being just cryptic enough that my stupid curiosity was piqued.

  “Why am I in danger?” It seemed like the most pertinent question to ask.

  Josh looked up at me from his spot on the stairs, his intense green eyes reminding me of the way those eyes had taken me in just before we’d kissed. I looked away quickly. I didn’t want to be reminded of that. Mostly because I wanted it to happen again. Why did he have to be so damn hot and mysterious?

  “It’s a dangerous time to be a . . . Variant. The government is tightening regulation on the use of our abilities—all you need to do is pick up a newspaper to know that. People like Ethan and I are closely monitored. We’re left alone for now mostly because our abilities haven’t grown too far past what they were when they manifested. When we . . . when you were over the other night, I realized that my ability is much stronger than I originally thought because—”

  Ethan cleared his throat and threw Josh a pointed look.

  “. . . because of . . . reasons,” he finished lamely, looking away from me, and I rolled my eyes. “I’m sorry. The less you know the safer it is. If anyone found out about how strong my ability was and it got back to certain people, . . . it just wouldn’t be good for me, OK? And anyone close to me, like Ethan, would immediately fall under suspicion, and it wouldn’t be good for them either. You were right in the thick of it when it happened. So that’s not good for you.”

  “Right.” I looked from one to the other, barely containing my skepticism. “So for reasons that you can’t explain, your powers are suddenly stronger, and for more vague reasons, that puts you in danger, and I happened to stumble into this mess, so now I’m up shit creek too? That about cover it?”

  Josh pulled himself back into a standing position. “Yes?” It came out as a question.

  “OK. Well, I have no interest in sharing that particular embarrassment with anyone anyway, so your secret is safe with me. Now can we just pretend like none of this ever happened and go to class?”

  Both of them sighed in relief and nodded. I gave a single nod and took off in what I hoped was the direction of my lecture hall.

  I wasn’t entirely buying their “we’re all in danger” spiel, but pretending the incident with Josh never happened was fine by me. My ego and confidence were bruised enough.

  The next day was even colder, made worse by the steady rain that had started overnight and seemed to intensify as I got ready for the day. Staying in bed and listening to the rain was tempting, but there was no way I was going to miss chemistry lab.

  I trudged to the science building, already getting excited about which experiments we might be running. Not one to make the same mistake twice, I wore the boots I had wished for the previous day and a jacket with a hood pulled low. Luckily, the science building was one of the closer ones to my res hall, and it only took me five minutes to walk there.

  Head down, I ran the last few meters—just as a particularly nasty gust of wind sent the rain flying sideways—and came to a stop under the cover of the front of the building. Lifting my head and pulling the hood off, I came face to face with the intense blue-eyed stare of Alec Zacarias.

  I stood there, stunned, as other students filed into the building, desperate to get out of the rain.

  Alec had his hands
stuffed into the pockets of his black coat, the collar turned up against the wind, as he alternated watching me and scanning the area around us. When the last student entered the building, he took a step in my direction.

  “I know those two spoke to you yesterday”—his voice was low, muffled by the sound of the rain, but loud enough that I could hear him clearly—“but I need to make sure you understand the gravity of the situation.”

  “Well, hello to you too,” I huffed. Who accosts someone in the morning—before they’ve even had their coffee—and starts talking at them without even saying hello? “Wait . . .” His words registered, and my skin prickled with embarrassment. “They told you about that?”

  I averted my gaze, the embarrassment giving way to a spike of outrage. So I was supposed to keep it a secret, and they could tell whomever they wanted?

  “They trust me. And they were right to keep it quiet. No one can know what happened, do you understand? This is not something you gossip with your girlfriends about before you have a pillow fight. When we say tell no one, we mean tell no one.”

  “Pillow fight?” I chuckled—this had to be one of the strangest conversations I’d ever had. And my mother and I’d had some doozies. “You don’t spend much time with women, do you?”

  He leaned down so our faces were closer together, his shoulders hunching, the hard set of his features laced with frustration.

  “I don’t spend a lot of time with anyone, precious.” He spat the last word out like an insult. “Now, start taking this seriously. Those two dickheads are my family, and I will do whatever it takes to protect them. They can’t . . . they’re too young to get dragged into . . .”

  The frustration in his eyes had melted into a desperate kind of pleading, the eyebrow scar becoming more pronounced as he raised both brows slightly. He couldn’t seem to bring himself to speak the words, to actually plead with me, but it was written all over his face. “And you . . . you definitely shouldn’t be anywhere near any . . . ”