Vital Found (The Evelyn Maynard Trilogy Book 2) Page 12

  “Give me the keys,” he demanded. “I’ll take the bike back. I can’t be in the same car as her right now.”

  “You know what?” I moved forward, ready to get in his face again, but Tyler stepped into my path.

  “Enough!” The finality in his voice made us both pause. “You’re both acting like children, and I’ve had it. Alec, you’re in no state to take the bike. Get in the fucking car. Eve can come with me.”

  Alec didn’t wait another second, wrenching the passenger door open and folding his tall frame into the seat.

  Josh closed the trunk, having swapped the duffel for a helmet, which he handed to me. A little surprised, I looked at Tyler. He already had his on, zipping his leather jacket up as he swung his leg over a motorcycle.

  “Uh . . .” I’d never been on the back of a bike.

  “You’ll be safe with Gabe.” Josh gave me a small smile, then took the helmet back and lowered it over my head. He secured it and gave me a little kiss on the nose before lowering the visor and getting into the driver’s seat of the car.

  Ethan helped me into a leather jacket. I was swimming in it, but it wasn’t down to my knees, so it was probably Josh’s and not Ethan’s. He rolled the sleeves up, lifted the visor, gave me another kiss on the nose, and jumped in the back of the car. Josh pulled out of the spot immediately.

  I pulled the visor back down. I didn’t want Tyler to see the awkward look on my face. I may not have been on a bike before, but I knew we were about to be pressed up against each other for at least an hour. I had no idea how he felt about that. I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about it either.

  I shuffled over and stopped just out of his reach. He finished putting on his gloves and looked up.

  “It’s OK. I got you.” His voice was clear and confident even from behind the helmet. I couldn’t see his eyes, but somehow I knew they were looking at me with warmth and encouragement. Despite the fact that I’d been a major pain in his ass.

  I closed the distance and swung my leg over the bike, settling behind him as best I could without touching him. My toes brushed the ground on either side.

  Tyler reached back, grabbed my right ankle, and positioned my foot on a little bar. I lifted the other foot into the same position. Then he started the engine, which came to life with a loud, angry roar.

  Tentatively, I placed my hands on his waist. There was nothing else to hold on to. Not that I looked too hard.

  He grabbed my wrists with his gloved hands and tugged until my arms wrapped around his chest and my front was flush with his back.

  “Hold on tight.” He had to speak up over the roar of the engine. “If something’s wrong or you need me to pull over, tap my shoulder, OK?”

  I gave him a thumbs-up; forming words was beyond me in that moment. With training and tutoring and all the Light transfers, I probably spent more time with Tyler than any of the others, but he wasn’t the one I was closest to.

  We’d hugged a few times, mostly in life-or-death situations, but touching him like this made me relive that first day at Bradford Hills, when I was trying not to get a crush on him and failing miserably. I tried not to pine for him, but with my arms feeling the taut muscles under his jacket, my chest and belly feeling his heat pressed into me . . .

  We took off, and my heart hammered in my chest from fear as well as from the close proximity to Tyler, but after a while, I relaxed and started to enjoy the ride. We passed the Challenger on the freeway after only ten or fifteen minutes, but we whizzed by so fast I couldn’t see inside.

  I admired the twinkling lights of the city, then the darkness as we drove deeper into the country, the headlights illuminating trees and a short stretch of black road ahead. With every turn, every bend in the road, every little correction he had to make, Tyler’s core muscles clenched and relaxed. Tight against him—my front to his back, my legs against his, my hips pressed into his ass—I was acutely aware of his every movement, of every inch of contact between us, and I reveled in it.

  I may have been spending more time with Tyler than any of them, but I also craved him more. Ethan and Josh were giving in to their physical pull as much as they could without it becoming dangerous. With Tyler, I wasn’t sure he even felt a pull.

  I definitely felt it though.

  The Light was pushing me to deepen the Bond with all of them. It was all I could think about at times. Every time I shared a heated kiss with Ethan or Josh, I remembered how Alec had made me feel that night on the couch, how his hands had touched me exactly how I’d wanted them to. Then I’d immediately start wondering what Tyler’s hands would feel like on parts of my body I knew he’d never touch, what his lips would feel like pressed to mine.

  I craved Tyler in a way I didn’t crave the others—in the one way I couldn’t have him.

  The vibrations of the engine only added to my heightened state, driving me a bit crazy. All the drama of the night melted away. At least that was one good thing—the ride back, the fresh air, and the distraction of Tyler’s body were enough to calm my rage toward Alec.

  Too soon we were pulling through the gates of Bradford Hills Institute. Tyler checked us in with the guards at the gate, reminding them about their confidentiality responsibilities, and then we were at the back of my res hall, and he was shutting the engine off.

  He straightened, leaning away from the handlebars, and my body reacted to his instinctively. I arched my back and rolled my hips forward, seeking more contact in the one place all my blood seemed to be flowing to—between my legs.

  He paused, and because my arms were still wrapped around him, I felt him release a deep breath. He removed his gloves and placed his warm hands over mine. “Your hands are freezing.”

  Hearing him speak brought me out of my lust haze enough to feel embarrassed at how I’d basically ground myself on him. I’d practically sexually harassed him. He was handling it like a champ though, keeping his cool and not calling me out on it.

  I pulled my hands out of his and got off the bike, immediately missing his warmth. My legs were shaky, and my numb fingers struggled to unclasp the helmet.

  He stayed on the bike but reached out to pull me closer, then undid the helmet for me. I handed it to him and tried to gulp in the fresh cool air without making it obvious I was trying to calm myself.

  “Thanks . . .” My voice was croaky, so I cleared my throat. “Thanks for the ride.”

  I turned to leave.

  “Eve . . .” He sounded as if he was about to say something serious, something that might crush me, but I wasn’t ready to hear it. His persistent and careful boundaries hurt enough. I couldn’t stand to hear him say he didn’t want me in that way, articulate it in no uncertain terms.

  “Oh, right! You can’t hold the helmet and ride the bike.” I latched on to the first thing I saw. “Silly me.”

  I took the helmet back and forced myself to walk and not run up the stairs to my building. As I waited for the elevator, I heard the engine of the bike start up.

  Ten

  It was nearly midnight by the time I unlocked all the deadbolts on my door and stepped inside, but Zara and Dot were waiting for me. We dragged mattresses, blankets, and pillows into the living area, and I told them everything, completely giving in to all the emotions I’d been holding back and breaking down in tears several times. They listened, soothed, and plied me with junk food until we all fell asleep with the TV on.

  When my alarm went off at eight the next morning, I nearly decided to skip my session with Tyler for more sleep. But regardless of how unbearable my pining for him was becoming, I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to see him.

  I managed to get ready without waking my still-sleeping friends and let myself out silently. I wished I had time to walk to the Starbucks across campus for coffee, but I was cutting it close and didn’t want to be late.

  The thick gray clouds threatening rain matched my somber mood perfectly. I was glad I’d thrown my oversized cardigan on over my jeans and T-shirt. It was the
same warm one I’d worn on my first day at Bradford Hills—when I met Tyler and fell hopelessly in lust with him.

  “Eve!” Ethan’s loud voice pulled me up short, and I turned to see him and Josh jogging to catch up with me.

  “Hey.” I sounded flat and disinterested even to my own ears, but it had more to do with my sleep deprivation and not wanting to be late than the fact that I was still a bit pissed at them.

  Neither one of them made a move to touch me in any way, and I wasn’t in the mood for chitchat, so we just walked in silence.

  Ethan ran his hands through his hair and sighed heavily. “I’m really sorry about last night, Eve. We shouldn’t have lied to you.”

  Josh hastened to add, “I’m sorry too. Really sorry. We’re still figuring this all out, and sometimes it’s hard to know where the line between protecting you and excluding you is. We fucked up.”

  I sighed and stopped walking, turning to face them. “You’re forgiven. Just don’t exclude me anymore, OK?” The last part was delivered on a near whisper as I looked down at our shoes—my black flats, Ethan’s sneakers, Josh’s loafers.

  Ethan rushed forward and wrapped me up in a hug that nearly lifted my feet off the ground. “Thank god! I barely got any sleep. I wanted to come over to your place so bad, but Josh made me leave you alone.”

  I hugged him back as I flashed Josh a grateful look. I needed to unload to my friends and have some time away from the guys to process—Josh knew that, as usual. He smiled and nodded.

  We kept walking. I increased our pace, once again wary of being late.

  “Where you off to this early anyway?” Josh asked. “We were coming to see if you wanted to get coffee while we groveled for your forgiveness.”

  I cocked my head at him, confused. “My session with Tyler.” Had I gotten the days wrong?

  They exchanged a worried glance before Ethan asked, “He didn’t cancel?”

  “No. Why would he?” I faltered. Had my behavior last night put him off more than I realized? Was he so repelled by me that he didn’t even want to tutor me anymore?

  “Today is his mom’s birthday,” Josh explained. “He usually takes the day off . . .”

  “Oh.” Tyler was grieving. That just made me want to go to him more. Maybe it was selfish, but I wanted to see him, see if there was anything I could do to help. After all, I knew exactly how he was feeling. We all did.

  “Well, he hasn’t told me not to come, so I might just check if he’s up for it anyway.” We’d already reached the front of the admin building.

  “I think that’s a good idea.” Ethan nodded. “Maybe he could use the distraction.”

  Josh sighed. “I think you’re right. Can’t be worse than how he usually deals with it.”

  They both nudged me in the direction of the front doors, not giving me a chance to interrogate them about how Tyler usually dealt with this difficult day.

  Riding in the elevator up to Tyler’s office, I wasn’t sure what to expect. After my mother died, I hated the look of pity in people’s eyes. Their over-the-top reactions made me think about it all over again. I just wanted them to treat me normally so I could get through one hour without feeling like bursting into tears.

  As I slowly approached his door, fidgeting with my cardigan sleeves, I took a deep breath and did my best to put a neutral expression on my face. I refused to look at Tyler with pity. I’d let him take the lead. If he wanted to tell me about his mother, I would listen. If he wanted to just have a normal session, I would ask a million questions and stick to the plan.

  I rapped on the door and pushed it open. I never waited for him to invite me in anymore. But maybe I should have.

  He was leaning back in his chair, and perched on the desk facing him was some woman. Dressed in a tight skirt and a soft blue sweater, her blonde hair in a neat, understated bun, she was leaning into him with her hand on his arm, speaking softly.

  They both looked in my direction, and I saw it was Stacey from admissions. I resisted the urge to cross the room and rip her arm out of its socket. Tyler wasn’t my boyfriend, I reminded myself; it was just the Bond making me react possessively, and I’d only a second ago decided I would do whatever he needed. The neutral look remained plastered to my face as I took my emotion out on the door handle, gripping it tight.

  “Oh, Eve, right?” Stacey stood up. “Gabe is actually not feeling well today, so he’s going to cancel all his appointments, sweetie. I’m sorry you came up here before I had a chance to let you know.”

  She placed a hand on his shoulder. It took all my self-control not to stare daggers at the exact spot where her hand rested.

  Before I had a chance to answer, Tyler stood up, dislodging Stacey’s hand. “Actually, I might keep this appointment.” He lowered his voice, but I could still hear him perfectly well. “Might be good to have a distraction, you know? Focus on work for a bit.”

  “Of course.” She had concern painted all over her face. Pity too. “You just let me know if you need anything. Anything.”

  That last “anything” had an edge of suggestion to it. How transparent could a grown woman be?

  “Right. Yes. Thank you.” Tyler gave her a tight smile and turned his attention to me. “Come in, Eve. We have a lot to cover today.”

  Stacey finally went to the door and, with a last pitying smile, left the room.

  Tyler and I stared at each other as her soft footsteps retreated down the carpet. When we heard the ding of the elevator, he slumped back against the side of his desk, his shoulders sagging. “I thought she would never leave.”

  I chuckled nervously, putting my bag down by the door before closing it. “I thought I was interrupting.”

  “Oh, you were,” he said slowly, his eyes downcast. “And I’m so glad you did. The last thing I need today is . . .” He trailed off, staring into space.

  It was so unlike him to have incomplete thoughts that my concern kicked up a notch. “I was so worried about Alec last night.”

  He kept staring, unfocused, at a spot low on the wall behind me. “He puts me through hell every time he fights. It’s even worse for Kid and Josh. There’s no stopping him, so I just try to manage the fallout as best I can—try to keep everyone . . . I don’t even know. Safe? That’s why I tried to keep you away last night. Not just because The Hole is dangerous. I wanted to protect you from seeing that, seeing how it affects us all. And then I see Dot, and I’m reminded of Charlie and what he must be going through, and I feel like we’re not doing enough to find him. Like I’m not doing enough . . . and then my mom’s birthday comes around, and I just feel like a twelve-year-old kid again, missing her, and I don’t know how I can do it all anymore.”

  I twisted the edge of my cardigan between my hands. Tyler carried so much on his shoulders. How could I even begin to help him with the weight of that burden?

  Should I ask about his mother? Should I make a start on our study session? I’d decided to let him take the lead, but he was just sitting there, looking broken.

  I decided the best thing would be to ask what he wanted. It’s what he would do. Be clear and direct.

  I cleared my throat. “Tyler . . .”

  As soon as his name was off my lips, spoken softer than I’d intended, he raised his head and looked at me.

  The emotion in his gaze made me completely forget what I’d been trying to ask. His beautiful gray eyes, usually so bright with intelligence and curiosity, looked glassy and bloodshot, and his hair was even messier than usual, as if he’d been running his hands through it.

  He held the intense stare for a few moments, then dropped his head again with a sigh. He needed something from me, but I wasn’t sure what it was, and my attempt to ask him had failed miserably.

  Without thinking about it too much, I raised my hand and ran it gently through his hair, pushing the mess off his forehead. He leaned into my touch, and I did it again, this time softly scraping my nails over his scalp. On my third pass, I rested my other arm gently on his sho
ulder, letting my fingers gently scratch the nape of his neck.

  He raised his hands and tentatively placed them high on my hips, over my jeans. He wanted more of whatever it was I was giving him, and I was happy to oblige. I stepped farther into him, positioning myself between his legs but still not leaning into him fully. I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea after the way I’d pressed myself into him on the bike the night before.

  But as soon as I stepped into his space, he pulled me in the rest of the way and buried his head against my neck. And then his shoulders started to bob up and down, and his breathing became uneven. He was crying. After a split second of frozen shock, I wrapped my arms around him, one cradling his head and the other curving around his shoulders. He banded both arms around my middle and held me tightly.

  He didn’t sob or make any dramatic sounds. He just cried softly as I held him, my heart breaking.

  A lump formed in my throat, and tears stung my own eyes. I was doing my best to be strong for him, but seeing him so upset was incredibly hard. The wetness in my eyes reminded me to keep my Light in check. It tended to go haywire when I got emotional, and I didn’t want it to distract Tyler. He’d always been there for me to expel excess Light into when it overwhelmed me. This moment needed to be about what I could do for him.

  I checked my mental barriers; my control had slipped, and excess Light was coursing through our contact. I took a deep breath and concentrated on keeping it in check while I gently moved my hand away from the skin on Tyler’s neck.

  His head snapped up. “Don’t,” he whispered softly, his hands once again landing on my hips.

  “I’m so sorry. I’ve got it under control now. You don’t have to do that for me today.”

  “No, that’s not what I meant. Don’t stop.” He grabbed my hand and placed it on his cheek. “It feels good.”

  “Oh. OK.” If he wanted whatever the Light made him feel, then I would give it to him.

  I held his face on both sides and let my instincts take over, let his needs speak directly to the Light, let the Light flow. It trickled out of my hands as I wiped the tears off his cheeks with my thumbs, and his eyes widened slightly before drooping closed. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips, and he leaned forward with a small sigh until our foreheads were touching.