Variant Lost (The Evelyn Maynard Trilogy Book 1) Read online

  “No. It’s not a bad thing. And we are happy. I’m happy that Ethan and Josh have found you. You’re incredible to have the Light necessary to sustain not one but two such strong abilities. But there are things at play here you don’t understand.”

  He sighed and got into the driver’s side of a black sedan that looked more expensive than the commercial plane I’d flown in to get here from Nampa. I followed suit and strapped myself into the passenger side, careful to pull the long T-shirt over my thighs and maintain some semblance of modesty.

  It wasn’t sitting well with me that he was being secretive. He had always encouraged my curiosity. “Don’t do that. Don’t be vague and evasive. That’s Alec’s thing.”

  “Please don’t take Alec’s behavior personally. He’s had a lot of pain in his life. No pun intended.” He laughed a little, but it was half-hearted. “We all have.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that, but Tyler must have taken my silence as an invitation to continue, and I hung on every word.

  “We all lost our parents at a young age. They were close, and as a result, we kids were too. They all died in a big accident . . . Ethan was only nine when it happened and Josh was ten. I was fifteen and Alec was seventeen. Alec and I thought we were grown up until, all of a sudden, we had no parents to turn to. But we grew up pretty fast after that—Ethan and Josh needed us to.”

  I swallowed around the lump in my throat, doing my best to keep my voice even. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

  He smiled weakly. “The point is, Alec is not always the best at expressing how he feels, but he’s very protective of those two. Now that we know you’re their Vital, he’s going to be protective of you too. We both are. We’re going to do all we can to guide you through this, Eve. To keep you all safe.”

  “And to make sure we don’t burn Bradford Hills to the ground? Secretly though, because no one can know what I am, right?” I was trying to lighten the mood.

  It worked, managing to get a smile out of him as he pulled out of the garage. “I’m not being intentionally evasive. There’s just so much you don’t know, and it only takes five minutes to drive back to the Institute. I can’t possibly cover it all, but if I don’t get you back there soon, it’s going to raise even more questions.”

  “I don’t understand.” I looked out my window, watching the beautiful trees whiz past as we drove down their massive driveway.

  “I know. I’m sorry. Look, the Vital power is revered in our community, yes, but it’s also coveted, and that makes it dangerous for you. Haven’t you noticed that every high-profile Vital you see in the news is surrounded by security? But it’s not just that. This could be dangerous for Ethan and Josh too. There are things happening on a bigger level—bigger than all of us—that could make them targets if it became known they’ve found their Vital.”

  Ethan and Josh could be in danger. Now that he’d said that, I was no longer annoyed by his being vague. I just wanted to know who was trying to hurt my guys. I tried not to dwell on the fact that I was suddenly thinking of them as my guys as I tried to push the irrational murderous rage aside. “OK.”

  “OK?” There was a tiny hint of surprise in Tyler’s voice. He hadn’t been expecting me to cave in so easily. “I promise I’ll explain everything. Just not today. I’m going to set it up so we’re having regular one-on-one sessions—I’ll say it’s intensive tutoring to bring you up to speed with your Variant studies. Your test results will be enough of an explanation. There’s no hiding those now. I will arm you with all the information you need to navigate this clusterfuck as best you can. I promise.”

  So much had happened that his cursing didn’t even surprise me. I was beyond being fazed by language from an authority figure.

  “I need you keep this to yourself. You can’t even tell anyone about your test results. Not until after our next meeting, which is when I’m meant to officially tell you. Can you do that, Eve? Do you trust me?”

  We were pulling into the main gates of the Institute, and his eyes were focused on the path ahead, but all his other senses were focused on my reaction.

  “No. I hardly even know you. Why would I trust you?” I crossed my arms over my chest, staring straight ahead just as he was.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his lips twitch into an involuntary smile. “Liar.”

  “Dammit!” I dropped my arms and turned on him. Stupid lie detector ability. “No fair.”

  With some of the seriousness of the moment dispelled, I flopped back in my seat, unable to pretend I was still mistrustful and suspicious. Curious and a bit worried, yes, but nothing they’d done so far indicated they were shady in any way. I did trust them, and Tyler probably would have known it even without his ability.

  “Great! Now that we’ve established that you trust me, can we establish an official meeting so I can pretend to tell you for the first time that your blood test came back positive for Variant DNA? I have a slot at 9 a.m. on Thursday.”

  “Fine. Thursday it is. I’ll wait for my answers—many, many detailed answers. But what am I supposed to tell Beth? And Zara, come to think of it, because there is no way Beth didn’t fill her in.”

  “Right. About that.” We came to a stop near the back entrance of my residence hall, and he angled his body toward mine but didn’t meet my eyes. “Obviously, we couldn’t tell her what was really going on. There was no covering up the burned-out car, and she’s a smart girl, so she knew it had something to do with Ethan’s ability. We kept it as close to the truth as we could. We told her he had overused his ability, that he was in trouble . . .”

  Taking a deep breath, he told me the rest in a rush. “We told her you and Ethan were secretly seeing each other and that’s why you were so upset, and that we called you when he collapsed because we knew you would want to be there for him.”

  I blinked in astonishment, my eyebrows slowly rising as Tyler finally met my gaze. At least he had the decency to look sheepish about it.

  “You what?!” How was I supposed to convince the Reds I was dating Ethan Paul—notorious womanizer and destroyer of scholarships—when I’d shown nothing more than a fascination with his ability and a passing interest in the guy wielding it?

  “I know. I’m sorry, but it’s done now. We panicked. We had no idea what was happening, and we had to do something to cover it up. When Josh blurted out that Ethan was your boyfriend, we all just ran with it.”

  “Unbelievable . . .” I muttered to myself, but the idea of being with Ethan did intrigue me. We had kissed, after all, and there was no denying we were drawn to each other. I just couldn’t be sure how much of that was mutual attraction and how much was driven by the Light coursing through my body.

  Once again, I didn’t have the luxury of space and time to figure it out for myself. I would have to pretend to be in a relationship with a boy whom I’d only known a few weeks—and whom I now liked more than I cared to admit. Throwing the “boyfriend” label into the mix seemed like an unnecessary complication. Ugh! What a mess!

  “Eve?” Tyler snapped me back to the present. “We can’t keep sitting here. Someone will notice.”

  “Right. Fine. I’ll pretend to have the hots for Ethan. How hard can it be?” Probably harder than I expected. I was an exceptional liar when it came to handing over a fake passport or using my fake name, but I didn’t know if I could lie to the two girls who had fast become my friends. I didn’t know if I wanted to.

  I got out of the car, slamming the door just a little bit harder than necessary, and trudged into the building.

  When I made it upstairs, I peeked my head in the room and, finding it completely silent, breathed a sigh of relief as I pushed inside.

  My phone was still charging by my bed, where I’d left it in my rush to get to Ethan. I had a few missed calls from Zara and Beth, but they must have found my phone in my room and given up quickly. There were also a few messages in our group chat.

  Zara: We’re heading out to catch up with some f
riends but when we get back . . . questions. So many questions!

  Beth: What she said. Hope you’re OK. xo

  I winced, not looking forward to that particular conversation. Then I smiled in spite of myself. It was nice having friends who cared enough about me to demand explanations for strange behavior.

  It made me feel even worse that I would have to lie to them.

  I typed out a quick response—Home now and I’m fine. No need to rush back!—and dropped my phone back on the nightstand.

  I wanted to throw myself onto the bed next to it. I was wrecked; the heaviness of the situation, coupled with the fact that I’d helped Ethan set the damn pool on fire, was getting to me. However, I also smelled like chlorine, so I headed for the bathroom first.

  I took a long, hot shower, using the time to think about what I would say to Zara and Beth when they got back, but my brain was too fried to get very far.

  “It’s just a casual sex thing. He’s hot, and I’m not talking about his fire ability.” I couldn’t even get to the end of that one without cringing.

  “We have a lot in common actually?” That came out as a question.

  “It was an accident. I . . . tripped . . .” Ugh. I rolled my eyes at myself.

  I gave up. Hopefully the right thing would just come to me.

  I dried my hair as quickly as I could, leaving it a big, frizzy mess, and pulled on underwear and a tank top before climbing into bed and falling asleep at two in the afternoon.

  I woke up an hour later to Zara jumping on me and yelling, “No sleeping during your interrogation!” at the top of her lungs.

  I groaned and tried to push her off, but Beth had already jumped on my legs, and I was pinned down. I started laughing in spite of myself. They released me, Zara moving to perch on my desk chair while Beth just leaned on the wall at the foot of my bed.

  “Spill,” Zara demanded, and I immediately got super nervous.

  I still had no idea what to say but decided sticking as close to the truth as possible was probably the best option.

  “Look, I know you warned me off him, but he’s not what I expected.” That was true. Ethan had shown me a tender, vulnerable side I had a feeling few people ever saw. “Beth, you’ve said he can be a nice guy if you get to know him. I didn’t tell you guys, because it’s all so new, and, I mean, we’ve only kissed, so it’s not even that serious.”

  Their frowns of confusion made me realize my mistake—if it wasn’t that serious, why had I been a hysterical mess last night?

  “That is to say”—I scrambled for an explanation—“it wasn’t really that serious until last night. I don’t know, I guess knowing he might be in danger kind of made me realize how much I care about him.” Also true. I just left out that my intense interest in his well-being had more to do with our supernatural connection.

  “So, you’re saying that you haven’t even slept with him?” Zara sounded incredulous.

  Technically I had, but I knew she wasn’t referring to the actual sleeping we had done. At least this was one thing I could be truthful about. “No. Yes. That is to say, you are correct—we have not had sex.” I looked down at my hands clasped in my lap, a little embarrassed.

  “Oh god, are you a virgin? This just gets better and better. Ethan Paul is not the guy you want to lose your V-card to.”

  “I don’t know,” Beth piped in from the foot of the bed. “Doing it with someone who’s more experienced might be good. They know what to do and all that.”

  “Um, girls? Not a virgin. I had a boyfriend when I was living in Australia, and I dated a bit while I was living in Idaho.”

  “Ooh, the plot thickens.” Zara awkwardly pulled herself over on the wheelie chair and rested her elbows on the bed beside me, dropping her chin into her hands. “Tell us about the Aussie.”

  “Wait, weren’t you in the middle of interrogating me about Ethan?”

  “Aww, it’s ‘Ethan’ now. I guess ‘Kid’ is too casual a nickname for a beau,” Beth cooed.

  “Beau?” Zara and I both laughed.

  “Who says beau anymore? It’s not 1956, Mary Sue,” Zara teased, then turned back to me. “Look, we were worried, but you seem to really like him, and honestly, I’ve never heard of him actually dating someone. Like putting actual time and effort into getting to know a girl. So that’s promising. Just be careful and know that we’re here if it ends in tears.”

  “What she said,” added Beth, smiling warmly, “except the Mary Sue bit. That was just mean. I am a modern woman. Hear me roar!”

  I leaned back against my pillow, relieved the conversation hadn’t been as difficult as I thought it was going to be.

  We spent the rest of the afternoon lounging around the living room, eating junk food and talking about exes. I didn’t have too much to contribute after my Harvey story was relayed, but it felt so good to be doing normal girl things with people I could actually call my girlfriends.

  An afternoon spent relaxing, followed by a good night’s sleep, did wonders for my energy levels and outlook on the whole situation.

  The Reds had promised—at my insistence—not to tell anyone about me and Ethan. Considering his reputation, they were happy to keep it to themselves.

  The girls weren’t upset with me, the boys would be glad our secret was safe, and I was excited. I had so much to learn about this world I was apparently a part of, and I couldn’t wait.

  The Reds and I walked toward the Variant studies building together, me with much more pep in my step than was normal for anyone on a Monday morning. Ethan and Josh were in my first lecture for the day—Variant History—and I was looking forward to seeing them.

  As we approached the front of the building, I spotted my boys immediately, chatting together as people streamed past them through the front doors. They turned in my direction at the same time and smiled in greeting. I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face in response, my eyes flicking from one to the other.

  Thankfully, we were far enough away that the girls thought I had eyes only for Ethan. Beth grabbed my arm and bounced up and down excitedly before remembering it was supposed to be a secret and making a visible effort to calm herself. Zara just rolled her eyes and walked off toward the humanities building, waving goodbye as she dragged Beth along with her.

  Ethan laughed as I walked up to them, no idea how I was supposed to act. “Should I just ignore you? Should we pretend like . . .” I spoke quietly, unsure how to end that sentence. We were pretending so many things already.

  “Good morning, Eve. Why, yes, I’m doing just fine, thanks.” Ethan chuckled before slinging an arm over my shoulders and moving us off toward class.

  I froze up, worried we were about to burn down the science building. “What are you doing?” I hissed in Ethan’s ear.

  “Chill,” he stage-whispered back. “As long as we avoid skin contact, we should be fine. Only over clothes.” He winked at me, managing to make the comment both informative and suggestive. I rolled my eyes at him but found myself fighting laughter.

  Josh snickered, stepping up on my other side. He handed me a latte and smiled a secret smile.

  He’d brought it from the only café in town that made a decent latte; I was touched. “Thanks.”

  Ethan chose seats near the back of the lecture hall, and I found myself seated between him and Josh. A few people stopped by to say hi to Ethan, but I kept my eyes glued to my notebook, pretending to revise my notes.

  As Ethan chatted with a guy on the football team about some upcoming game, I felt Josh’s hand land gently on my leg under the little foldout table—over the fabric of my tights and nowhere near any exposed skin. He squeezed gently and spoke very low, so only I could hear. “You’re doing fine, Eve. Just try to relax. Everything will be OK.”

  And then he pulled away. When I glanced over at him, his head was buried in a book, and he looked so unassuming that I wondered if I’d imagined the entire moment.

  Once again, Josh had picked up on what was going
on inside my head and given me the encouragement I needed. I hadn’t even realized how nervous I was until he reminded me to relax.

  The rest of class passed by uneventfully, and the lecture managed to interest me enough that I forgot about the two boys on either side of me and all that sat between us—at least for one hour.

  I had no more classes with the guys that morning, but at the end of my second class, I noticed Josh happened to be sitting on a bench outside and happened to leave just as I left, heading in the same direction.

  As I emerged from my third class, with Zara, they were both there, chatting with Tyler. I didn’t even need to look back to know they were following Zara and I as we headed to the cafeteria. I guess the stalking thing wasn’t about to let up now that we knew we were in a Bond. If anything, I had a sneaking suspicion it was about to intensify.

  Pretending to the world I was someone different was not new to me. I had been doing it my whole life. The new part was constantly having to resist the urge to go to them. Now that I knew who they were, what they were to me, all I wanted was to be close to them, talk to them, walk with them, touch them. It was infuriating to have to pretend we were nothing to each other.

  By the end of the day, I was over being vigilant. As I finally collapsed into bed, looking forward to a good sleep and a break from it all, I realized I would be denied even that simple luxury.

  My arms and legs were itchy in that now all too familiar way. I kicked the covers off—they suddenly felt as if they were made of raw wool.

  Now that I thought about it, I had been scratching absentmindedly all day. I had been so distracted by Ethan and Josh and our situation I hadn’t noticed the tickle beginning at my wrists and ankles.

  With a sigh of frustration, I got out of bed, any semblance of fatigue gone, and prepared myself for another sleepless night.

  Fourteen

  The following three days were torture.